I saw this last night. A following on twitter - @DabotaLawson had shared it and tagged it LMAO. As curious as I was, I clicked the link. As I read on, my guilt conscience just kept triggering. It is as funny as it is true. And WE all belong to each or two or three of these groups. Some of us are in ALL.
LMAO!!!
Culled from www.rubypsuedochatchat.blogspot.co.uk , read on....
Back in the day, BlackBerry's PR agency appeared to fly someone over to the UK from [either] Chicago or Seattle to basically, 'take me out to a fancy place, get me drunk, and then find out why kids were using BlackBerrys' or some quote like that... I remember laughing out loud - it was all a little un-necessary - and having got said drinking 'partner' to add his 14 year old daughter on BBM, I went on to explain it was basically the free-ness, instancy and 'read receipt' joy of it all that had kids hooked...
Since then, the levels of appropriation kids have applied to BlackBerry's Messenger [BBM], is incredible... With BB broadcasts they are able to send they can ask about homework, if someone knows when the next bus is due to Stockport, or simply let each other know about nights and guest-lists... With the arrival of status pictures and updates, new manners and morals appeared too... A black square, instead of a picture, means they are moody/pensive/upset and essentially, want to be left the fuck alone. A status picture is also often accompanied by <<<; and a comment, which essentially references/explains the image... Broadcasts and statuses allow them to gather guest-lists, sell drugs, let people know about their relationship status, or just canvas opinions... We've seen kids asking - via statuses - whether they should be buying Vans or Converse, Nike or adidas, or just what to watch at the cinema... They may also be games [shit games], gossip, destructive or just plain fucking flirty... They spread news too, [I found out about Amy Winehouse dying through BBM] often far more instantly than Twitter for these teens; football scores are posted so instantly that for anyone missing the match they have to change their status to let others know they don't want the results ruined for 'em...
And so, with this rise, comes the rise of BBM ranters and ravers tribes, which Callum - our work experience rascal - and the team have gathered together...
THE GASSMAN
The Gassman constantly chats about how hard he is, but can usually be found at home typing on his BB rather than out causing some kinda genuine trouble and/or picking up chicks/fights/raising from Sainsburys. Essentially, it's a damned front... You keep updating dear, does your mum know you're a 'boss man' by the way and have you tidied your room yet? LOL etc....
"If i dont go jail, or end up dead, im going to be rich"
"I just want to see you strip"
"You a boss, so you need a boss chick"
"I live bi the road and die by the road. YOLO"
THE ATTENTION SEEKER
The Attention Seeker uses classic reverse psychology moves mixed with more than a modicum of crying wolf... 'No more bbs please!', 'Untick me!', demand the statuses, when actually - anything but's gonna happen as friends ask if everything's alright and wassup etc... ['Oh nothing', they BB back, as the concerned audience check in...] Adept at seeking a reaction on BBM, the Attention Seekers are king & queens of deleting sprees and pretend contact editing, thus keeping everyone one tenter hooks as to whether they get 'kept' or not...
"No more bbs pls. fed up of this shit"
"Deleting spree :)"
"i'm moving out"
"Comin off BB for a while, no messages"
THE VAGUE VENTER
The Vague Venter is someone who clearly has got something to say but doesn't quiiite like to let on what it is they're so darned vexed about about. They're a perculiar BBM user as - unlike The Attention Seeker - their aim isn't to cause a reaction from the peers on their contact list, just simply to keep 'em guessing... Get to the darn point...
"So what append there"
"That was odd, imagine that"
"WTF?!?"
"Yea, I know lol"
"FUCK U"
THE JOHNNY NO-MATES
The Johnny No-Mates appears to have no qualms whatsoever about being massively vociferous about the fact they're doing nothing, with no-one, no where in particular. Always.
"Someone pop up. On bus"
"Someone talk"
"Doing nothing. YOLO"
"Someone come pub. Anyone."
"No BBs, VN*s" [then 5 minutes later] "OK you can BB if u want 2"
*A VN is a voice note, we like to use them to professionally send fart notes to each other. Yea, we're cool...
THE DAMN MUNDANE
The Damn Mundane moniker speaks for itself. Here we have a BB user who insists upon updating us on their every movement, however mundane... Some are so clock-work we've started telling the time by them ... [We're not sure if they do so in order to pass some unfilled time, or indeed whether they think the world is actually interested, but seriously, Chinese every night at 8pm and then bed? Jeeeeeez....]
"En route gym"
"En route shopping"
"Taking alfie for a swim :) ;) ;-)"
"Chinese, then bed me thinks! ;)"
"Found a pound on the floor YES"
"Lost my Oyster. Walking".
"Awake"
"Goin bed"
THE BOYFRIEND BORE
The Boyfriend Bore is the BB raver who HAS A BOYFRIEND AND LOVES THEM LOADS OMG <3 [heart, heart, smiley face, love-struck emoticon, said boyfriend's name set up as a status whenever possible etc]... If you and your boyfriend are really that good, then stop wasting your time telling/showing us, and enjoy the time you have together, [our bets are on he's sleeping with your best mate anyway...] Eeek...
"Nandos with my baby"
"My babes here"
"Love my babe"
"in bed cuddling with ___ :) :) :) I LOVE HIM <3 <3 <3 :)"
"Danny just farted"
THE EXCITED SOCIALITE
The Excited Socialite spends so much time telling the world how busy and popular they are, you can't help but wonder whether the fun they're having is particularly worth shouting about. I dunno about you, but when I'm having THE BEST NIGHT OUT EVER, I'm usually having far too much fun to update my BB dear... Shut up.
"omyg yess im going out 3 nites in a row hahaha"
"Bring on tonight! Yay!"
"Needed this girly catch up!"
"Having the best time EVEEER"
"So durunk, I LOVE MY FRIENDS"
THE LIFE COACH
Ahhh, The Life Coach, the self proclaimed philosopher, wisdom of all wisdoms, ..... Whilst these status' are completely harmless, they can get a bit much. Food for thought has it's right time/place, but please don't make me reflect on everything I do, you're a much better person than I am, clearly.
"knowing when I'm weak is when I'm really being strong"
"Agree to disagree"
"Love is real"
"A man that learns from his mistakes is a tru man"
"true friends will never let u down"
"pray to god 4 he will listen 2 u always"
"BB me your problems so I can help"
"remember to breathe"
THE KMT-er
The Kissing-My-Teeth BB user is constantly ranting, constantly angry, and genuinely at odds with the world... He hates you, he hates his mum, he hates his life, he can't believe he's being made to go to school and you, by the way, are a dick. Enough said. Cheer up chicken.
"Can never get to sleep KMT"
"My friends are so boring KMT"
"My mum is a dick"
"Fuck all that shit you're all talking about"
"Fuck the police"
"Fuck you"
"Fuck"
LMAO...oh my!
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